You know the old saying, “You can’t put a round peg in a square hole.” I think we all would agree that this rings true… for other people. When it comes to me personally, if I want it, I’m going for it. And I’m guessing you may find yourself in a similar boat. If need be, I’ll get out that dang hammer and saw and square off that round peg. An opportunity comes along, and it just seems perfect. A relationship looks like it could be a match made in heaven. A house seems like the perfect investment. A business appears to be an incredible venture. Whatever the “goodness” is in front of us, we begin to fantasize about it. We put ourselves in the moment of it being reality. And we like it. Success. Connection. Fulfillment. We know what we want and where we want to go and often we can clearly play out the exact way we need to get there. Until the roadblocks come.

Here at A Salty Rim, we’ve found ourselves in a number of conversations recently where, from our vantage point on the outside, it is much clearer that something maybe shouldn’t happen. But these folks are dead set on seeing it to fruition. Once we attach our emotions to something, it just seems virtually impossible to let it go. Letting something go once we’ve believed in it, feels like cutting off a piece of ourselves.

A long time ago, I heard from a very wise person three short words…  “Don’t force it.” If something is THAT hard to get, maybe it shouldn’t be yours. When something is right, history tells me that doors may need to be opened to move forward, but rarely should they have to be kicked down. When we try to force a job, or a move, or a person to love us, or whatever you fill the blank in with, it doesn’t allow for our whole selves.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, for my own growth), I know this firsthand with a business I started. It was perfect. The industry was fun, the product was innovative, the sales were more than promising, the business trajectory we were on was direct, and scalable growth was our future. But I had to walk away. Our partnership didn’t share the same vision. Didn’t share the same purpose. As the business unfolded, I felt like, every day, I was forcing things. Trying to break doors down that had been concreted shut. Many thought I was crazy to walk away. I knew it was the only option. I was exhausted from forcing something that just wasn’t meant to be.

This walking away led me to A Salty Rim, where we have the privilege of providing coaching and consulting to business leaders and entrepreneurs, with the goal of helping them avoid the roadblocks. Usually, if they are exhausted, it could be because something is being forced. The deep pain of one thing for me, led to the fulfillment of another.

Life’s moments have a way of being stitched together as they should. And as each new thread is woven in, the tapestry that emerges is breath-taking. Don’t force what’s in front of you, even if you think it might be the best. Because when we fill our lives with forced things, we don’t leave room for what really should be that will make us be our best selves. 

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